Normally newborns babies have fallen asleep themselves. However, it has been observed that as children get older, a lot of childrens develop sleeping problems.
You will be surprised to know that in most of the cases, only their parents are responsible.
Let Me Explain… How?
When childrens born, they know nothing about the outside world. They neither have love for anything, nor are they afraid of anything. They are born with a completely blank mind, and it will only fill with the things they learn from their parents.
The world of a child is their parents only. As he sees their parents' behaviour, the kind of language he hears from their parents, he develops exactly the same image of the things in his mind. And this is the reason that when parents teach children negative and confusing thoughts about anything, then all the negative thoughts get filled in their minds, and this is what causes fear.
What Actually the Problem is?
We often see that some of the childrens get affected by the sleep problems at the age of 6, 7. Sleep problems don't mean that they are not able to sleep well, rather it means that they can't sleep alone.
Now, you must be thinking why this happens. then let me tell you that this can happen only because of two reasons, either he is worried about something, or he is afraid of something.
Let's come to the first point which is about him being worried. We all know that at the age of 6 or 7 years, no one has enough understanding, that he /she could gets worried about something. So it is now clear that the first reason is not relevant at all.
Now, when we come to the second point, we find the real reason why childrens cannot sleep alone at night. We find that the reason for this is "Fear", due to which they cannot sleep alone at night.
As we have mentioned above, 6 or 7 year childrens do not have enough understanding of the outside world. But, at this age, they have a very sharp memory, so that whatever they see or hear from their parents or others, the image of that thing gets etched in their mind.
Often, we all scare our children for some reason, sometimes to put them to sleep early, sometimes to stop their bullying, and sometimes for some other reasons. And while doing this, we forget that the things we tell them, they don't forget, rather all the things whatever we tell them have taken place in their minds. And, all these things scare them alone, due to which they are not able to sleep alone at night.
How Can It Be Treated?
Here, I tell you about an incident which I have experienced just recently happening with a close friend of mine. My friend's son "Amit", who is now seven years old, but still, he cannot sleep alone at night. And every night, he needs his parents to sleep with him, even on his own bed.
When I asked my friend, why doesn't he tell his son to sleep alone? He replied that they have tried hard to get him to sleep alone. But every time, when he sleeps alone, he gets very scared, and starts crying.
When I asked my friend about what Amit talks when he gets scared. He told me that usually he repeatedly asks some strange and nonsense questions, like - Will the thief come? Will the ghost really eat us? Will the Devil Really Kill Us?
Now, I have understood that what's the reason of his fear, actually he has a very common problem. And not only Amit, there are many children like Amit, who cannot sleep alone at night.
I asked my friend, did any of you ( Amit's Parents ) tell him horror stories? He replied with complete harshness... No, not at all. After much investigation, we come to know that when he goes for vacations to his grandfather's house, his grandfather tells him stories.
Now everything was clear, so we all decided that Amit would sleep with them for the next two-three weeks. And in the meantime, they will only tell him such encouraging stories in which they can make him feel like a superhero.
They did exactly that for the next three weeks as we had decided. Then, three weeks later, one day they leave Amit on his bed to sleep alone. Then in the middle of the night, they try to find out if Amit is scared, But it was not so, he was sleeping peacefully. And since that day to till now, Amit has been sleeping alone.
This was an incident, which I had experienced just recently. And which may be the one reason for your children not to sleep alone. But apart from this, there are many more reasons because of which children are afraid to sleep alone... Such as - Emotional Problem, Some Deep Insecurity.
But whatever the reason, you should not force your child to sleep alone. Because it will increase his mental tension more and more.
You should just try the method that we suggested above. Maybe your child is not afraid, no problem. Whatever the reason is, you should find that and take the appropriate action accordingly.
How Serious It May Be?
You may find it quite normal in hearing, but it can affect your children's life as well as your Marital life a lot, because it causes interference and conflict between parents.
So, whenever you feel that your children are being affected by any kind of sleep problem. At the earliest, you should find out why this is happening, and should take appropriate action. And if you can succeed in removing the fear of his mind, then surely your child will become more confident and self-reliant. But, in the initial stage, if you make a mistake, such as - forcing him to sleep alone, scolding him, etc., then one of your mistakes can completely destroy your child's self-power.
Why Do Childrens Often Develop Sleep Problems?
We all want our children to be more confident and stronger. We want our children to know their feelings on their own, identify what is wrong or right, and solve their problems on their own. We want their lives to be balanced, independent and happy.
That is why when it comes to sleeping, we want them to sleep alone. Because, most people think that sleeping alone boosts their children's confidence, which is absolutely wrong. While doing so, we forget that to make children more confident and self-reliant, we need to give them more love and affection until they are fully mature.
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